Ridiculousness

Life is fucking ridiculous. When you think you have all of it, no. There would just be some dumb problems so no way you'll live happily ever after, that would only exist in fairytales. Fucking ridiculous.

Appreciation is always a problem.

It took me a year to finally say yes, to someone who will never take me as a long term story. 

Apparently the reason for the attraction was my friendliness and smile. I don't know this fact anymore; it never came into place after the first month. Or maybe I'm no longer attractive.

Clearly, again, I am not being appreciated. Or in order to achieve attention is when one is no longer in this world. Why cant people learn how to appreciate what's now? Don't regret for not being there when one needed you to be, only to be there for one's wake.

Karma will haunt you soon

You just wait. One day your career will take your toll, your life will crumble till you can never stand up. That so-called love of your life will turn against you. Your God will punish you for everything you have done. You don't deserve to live comfortably, you don't deserve a life, you don't deserve to live in this world in fact. Bloody asshole.

Because you lied

You deserve to be alone forever. You don't deserve to be in a relationship. Even if you do, you ought to suffer bad endings just because you deserve the shit you did to people. Bloody lying sack of shit. 

I don't see a point for you to go to church every weekend because all you do is lie to your God. May your God punish you severely in life that you can never ever achieve anything in life.

Piece of shit.

Unclear state of mind

It has been 3 hours since and I'm still at it haha - not sure what went into my head but.... I guess being in an unclear state is better than knowing it all. I truly wish I can be in a state that I know nothing at all - for real

Drunk at 7pm

It's 7pm and I'm drunk - tried not to by drinking water but I guess it's not working. Apart from the fact that I can type straight, I'm still haunted by that shif. On a bright side, I'm beginning to open up. :)

Jerks should be cursed with never to reproduce ever again

Quiet nights are evil. In a good way, it is a good time to be with self - however that also means having heaps of unwanted thoughts. 

As much as I do not want to think of it - it never got off my head. Never. 

I have been finding excuses to say I have already but I never did. I'm still angry. Given a chance I would want to punch him right in the crotch so he'll never be able to reproduce. No point having jackasses in the world - enough.